Tara and Alena's Wedding

I met Tara and Alena (middle two lovelies in photo above) when Tara was getting a sweet blossoming Cherry tree tattooed on her back by Sebastian several months ago. She was steady and calm during the process and managed to put up with my incessant talk about her work as a special education teacher for students with moderate to severe intellectual disabilities. Her passion, devotion and holistic knowledge of the incredible children and young adults that she works with was inspiring and matched beautifully with the socially just and progressive work of Alena. As the Program Manager for Just Communities , she institutes training for educators and other partnerships with local schools, aiming to close the achievement gap and promote racial justice, equity and inclusion. Their partnership in community activism, progression and awareness is a fine testament to our humanitarian roles in society; their dedication seems boundless.

Both share a love for creating the good stuff... Alena knits, cooks and gardens; Tara writes, crafts zines and stencils. But both love to dance ~ something that was brought to my attention right off the bat as they tried on the hair clips and jewelry with a bust a move test run. A highly entertaining and endearing sight.

It was an honor to have had the lucky break of creating custom hair adornments and jewelry for their wedding this past Spring. Both Tara and Alena, with Tara's lovely sister, Kristen, and their adorable friend, Raquel, wore the most vibrant and playful (and totally dance worthy) dresses. All four of these gals were a super treat to work with and I had a blast creating the pretties (feathers and felt and buttons and a bangle and flowers and birdcage veil... soooo much fun).

I will refrain from hopping on my soap box here as best I can and bypass my ranting about social and political justice, but I will have to share that Alena and Tara are a beautiful couple who will live a long and blissful life together. Prop.8 can kiss my fanny. *Off soap box*

Read a bit more about them in their Q&A below:
♥ What's your most treasured possession?
alena: My wedding ring and an antique vanity case that Tara gave me.
tara: that is really hard. i try not to treasure posessions too much, but maybe pictures, my computer, my file of letters and things people (and alena) have made me?

♥ The one band that you can listen to in any mood, any time of day, any place?
alena: Mirah or Mystic.
tara: um, same actually. Mirah or Mystic.

♥ Imagine a single room all to yourself, all for you. What's inside?
alena: Lots of potted plants, especially herbs and orchids.
tara: a device music comes out of and separate desks with immaculate organization for: sewing, writing/zine-writing, and other crafts/creation.

♥ Share a quote.

alena: “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” - Audre Lorde

tara: "If you are coming to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you are coming because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." -- Australian Aboriginal Woman

♥ If not the profession that you are currently in, then what?
alena: Hmm, I would teach healthy sexuality or make cupcakes for a living.
tara: another form of social justice organizing, non-profit or otherwise. Something directly dismantling oppression.

♥ If you could spend a day with anyone, past or present, who would it be? Why?
alena: My grandmother (who passed away 15 years ago) when she was my age. I'd love to get her honest perspective on our family and who we've all become.
tara: honestly, my chosen family. really doesn't get better.

♥ Favorite hero/heroine in fiction?
alena: Hmmm I'm not sure, but my favorite book is The God of Small Things. I love books written from the perspective of children.
tara: i don't typically read that kind of fiction, though i love fiction. these kinds of questions are too hard for me! i cant pick a favorite book even.

♥ What piece of jewelry or hair adornment do you own by Ciara Obscura?
alena: My wedding adornment with a white orchid and birdcage veil, a big flower with a pink center, and three small flower clips. I love them!
tara: a flower/feather broach and bangle bracelet with matching feathers. I love them.

The Husband Feature: Sebastian Orth

This is my husband from many moons ago.

This is him today.

I find both of these photos of Sebastian equally endearing. The one of him as a babes is, I mean come on, just freaking insanely adorable. His grandfather was a photographer and did a series of black and white shots with both him and his brother. I can't get past the perfection of that face (and he had crazy orange red hair- which you're missing out on with the black and white, but I'm still incredibly fond of the photo). The second is Sebastian in his element as a tattooist in his shop (and the guy under the machine is Nathan).

Sebastian gets this feature because he deserves any bit of recognition he gets for his amazing skill and artistry (a combination rarely found with such precision in the tattoo world). In an industry that's been bombarded with horrid sensationalized reality shows that entice 14 year old girls with braces to stop into his shop (with her parents, no less) to try to get a tattoo (FYI: He did NOT tattoo her.), I think he's kept a pretty clear and balanced head on his shoulders.

Having been tattooing for 20 years, Sebastian has evolved into a tattoo artist who is sought after and, I'm just going to say it, is booking into next year with a waiting list of 50+ people. Do you know why I had to share that? Because he has worked his ass off to get where he is and, not for a second by crushing others to get there. His mind is expansive and highly intelligent and , though he has the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy sometimes, has incredible wit, insight and a balanced understanding into people and the workings of the world. Also his art is excellent. also I love him... but don't mistake that love for bias. No way I could love and admire him if he was a talentless jackass.

His shop, Otherworld Tattoo, is a striking stylistic combination of traditional Japanese and modern Americana tattoo parlor, thanks to the personality dynamic of all three of the tattooists there (J and Derek being the other two great guys). It's an awesome second home for all of us and I love stopping in and witnessing the simultaneous hum of all three tattoo machines going at once with a lobby full of curious peeps and long time clients. I am beyond proud of who my husband is as an artist, tattooist and businessman, yes. But I adore who he is as a person and how much he has helped me to appreciate the vastness of life. And I especially can't wait until he finally finishes his book so the general public can experience the same understanding of his creative output and smarty pants brain at work. No doubt you'd love him too.

♥ JUNE GIVEAWAY ♥

These rings are from my Cute As A Button Collection... and they're damn adorable. I'm only going to be making a few more of each of these two colors before I carry the line into more dynamic patterns. But, for now, one of these is available and up for giveaway to a lucky someone.

"Twilight"
or... "Shock"
The Rules: (Deadline is Friday, June 26th at 11:59pm)
1. In the comment section of this post, tell me - if you win the giveaway-which color button you'd like and in what awesome little scene you can imagine yourself wearing it.
(Also...PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL IN THIS COMMENT FOR WINNER CONTACTING PURPOSES... thank you!)

2. Peruse through a few other posts on this blog and leave a comment on at least two of them (I'll be notified when one is left so no need to also let me know which you commented on). This sort of thing helps me to know which kinds of posts appeal to the readership and will inform my future posts just a wee bit.

3. OPTIONAL: I am always looking for artists (designers, musicians, and on and on... ), handmade and independent business owners, and anyone fascinating to feature in my blog. Please feel free to suggest someone you know and admire by either leaving a note in your comments or by emailing me directly: info@CiaraObscura.com

I will be notifying the winner via the email left in the comment section by Sunday, June 28th! Good Luck... ♥

Happiness = Oak trees + Sunshine + Cookies + Sebastian + Mars + This Kiss

I'm normally very UNfond of posting photos with me in them, but once in a while one will pop up that actually shows me in the calm and love that I feel I am in. I may not always be calm, but I am always in love. On the day, this past Spring, that the picture above was taken, Sebastian and I were celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary in a secluded park up in the hills of Santa Barbara. We love this place because we rarely ever see anyone there and, more importantly, there's an acre's worth of the land that is sectioned off for dogs to roam free. Mars freaking flips out and we get a kick out of watching him gaping mouth, tongue hanging, prancing across the park. So we sat and enjoyed a special little picnic and took a few photos or so to hold close this day.

I don't think being in love with one person for your entire life is boring or stale, nor do I think that life needs to be marked by your higher, more glamorous moments. See my face in that photo? That's the face of a content and fully appreciative person who has learned that the markers in life are days, hours, minutes like this... and a perfect little kiss like that.

Next post: June blog Giveaway!

Etsy Feature: Handmade Weddings

Oh man, this is some good news... Etsy's blog, The Storque, ran an article on Handmade Weddings and my HAPPINESS headband (above) made it as a featured item! I can't tell you how much I've been hoping to be in one of these articles (they're sort of really really coveted... like a Front Page feature, but extra better.). I scored my two and a half seconds of fame with this one. See it here: The Storque.

Here's another great bridal headband, SHEER BEAUTY, and a super stunning birdcage veil, PERFECT BLISS... both Limited Production designs.


Yep. Good times.

*Sweet Relief

When I was in grad school, one of my art studio teachers gave us an assignment to create a visual journal made up of images we found along our travels through magazines, our own artwork and things like descriptive visual accompaniments you might get when you visit an exhibit and so on. Now this runs a very similar process to collecting pictures for collages and decoupaging and the like, but it's an entire book dedicated to anything that visually appeals to you; and I think that this distinction is exactly what generates more of an ongoing, narrative creative thought process and what might really nail down a more comprehensive expression of this process in the end. Also, it's a crap load of fun.
Here are some shots of a few pages from the different books I put together over the past several years.
I like to mix decor materials with architectural elements, but with no particular rhyme or reason.
And girly and cheesy with nostalgia and guilty pleasures...
And, who the hell knows what, with colors that I thought might have just looked neat with the strips of masking tape holding it all together.

I find these books especially useful when my mind is too overworked or cluttered up and so I just grab the pile of them and sprawl out with my tea next to me and enjoy the little journey all over again. It can't be helped when I see something that sparks a new design in my head. They never fail to work their magic. And all over again, I feel thankful.

For the Love of Feathers

Luckily, feathers are still fashionably acceptable or else I'd just be one big raging lunatic with my more recent obsession with them (WRIST BLISS bracelet wrap above). Come to think of it, though, this is one material that any designer will always be able to find the perfect spot for. Thing is with feathers, they come in a kagillion different forms and colors and sizes... and now that I've learned how to dye them myself, I am slowly integrating my stock with more known cruelty free, free range, naturally shed and vintage sources. I also love to get some pretty great feathers from BOCAGE
and mix things up with a dose or two of other goodies- like these killer patent leather style bows in this TUTTI FRUTTI BLACK OUT hair clip fascinator:
and this SHEER BEAUTY headband....
and this TIGRESS broach...

I like to think I'm enjoying a certain fearlessness, that is very uncharacteristic of who I am, in going nuts with these feathers and whatnot in my designs. But, really, they're less crazy than a first glance might make you think... and more pretty and delicate and classic and stunning pieces of stylin' spanking goodness. Who doesn't need a little bit of that in their life?

Regina Spektor "Us"

I can't stop listening to this song lately. It's the sort of thing where pressing repeat isn't even enough to satiate the immediacy of the need to relisten to it all over again. Like, when something is so incredibly funny, and you're so astounded by the brilliance of its funniness , you can't even get out a laugh. This song is just like that except, instead of the over bounding of the laughter filling up inside, maybe you are just barely able to hold yourself in a stillness of the astoundedness. And, AND, seeing the video for it for the first time today, I am that much more transfixed. It may be safe to say that Regina Spektor's sheer adorable beauty is the muse for Ciara Obscura- and I don't use that word lightly. In fact, I never use it.
For you , now, this video... this song.
Here.
Give yourself a few minutes to float in its crazy insane goodness. I dare you not to press replay.

Things to Love...

It's a funny thing getting attached to, well, things. I'm a freak for sentiment. This is no secret to those who know me well. It's sort of a good untapped form of meditation for me to just stare at the colors and forms and composition of the stuff around me in our home. I'm torn between the desire to have and enjoy material trinketry- which is unnecessary but highly pleasurable- and the pureness of simplicity and minimalism. In fact, I've written another post on something quite similar. I am an obvious dichotomy. But, geez, look at these great vintage shoes! They were originally a deep plum color, but on our wedding day my husband spray painted them (yes. yes he did.) so I would have shoes to match my dress.


I do love them... these shoes. But I suppose my attachment would be looser were the sentiment not related to Sebastian creating this masterpiece of happiness for me. It's a curious thing, then, that Harold and Maude is my favorite movie of all time... given Maude was a vigilante of sorts for non-attachment. Then again, she did have an awful lot of sentimental goodies in her own home. I suppose that these things are visuals, temporarily marking our own journey.
Yeah. I'm gonna go with that... much nicer than feeling like I hoard for no good reason.

YART Sale! YaY!

The wonderful world of Etsy is sponsoring its annual YART Sale (Yard sale + Art = Yart!). And what this craziness is all about is a chance for individual shops (like mine, CiaraObscura) to host a sale of whatever proportions that we deem fit. So... I've decided on select hair adornments and jewelry to have price adjustments of 20-40% off. Thing is, the sale is only for my Etsy shop and not for my main website AND only to last until Sunday, June 14th.
Go ahead... Treat your loveliness to something pretty...

Delicate Little Treasury

After writing the Delicate Little Dreams post a few days back, I thought to try to get in on curating a treasury on Etsy based on my visions and hopes that spring up here, there and everywhere. These wonderful and amazing artists and vintage sellers deserve a bit of time in the spotlight (albeit just a tiny light here in my blog). Feel free to link up and click away... and maybe even treat yourself to one or two of these lovelies... Delicate Little Dreams Treasury

Giddiness...

Just got some great new materials from Bocage today and have to share how silly in the head I get when I sprawl out the goods in front of me. A good chunk of the bits and pieces in the photo above will be used to create an extension of the Spring/Summer line for Ciara Obscura. This mess is really my heaven. And the picking through it all, makes me feel like the possibilities are endless. It's true. They really are.

My process goes something like this:
1. get drawn to awesome material
2. unload it in the studio
3. utilize the designs concocted prior to getting these and mix them with a dose of the new and evolved designs.
4. crack out the thread and glue and findings and creative juices
5. make some tea or coffee
6. stare at the goods for a while
7. dig in.

What results is a series of fine fine pretties... to be launched in the next couple of weeks.
Oh and...
8. get giddy.

Delicate Little Dreams...

Years ago, maybe when I was 18 or 19 years old, I remember imagining being inside of a life fully engaged in art as both a lifestyle and as a means of making a living; and spending this experience with a person I fell in love with more with each passing day. A fantasy, yes, but I'm not afraid to admit that I spent hours a day for years daydreaming about it. You know why?

I'm a dreamer. An unapologetic, shameless, staring into the sun dreamer. Sometimes I thought maybe I shouldn't trust myself with my grand ideas and secret wishes... that probably if I let myself really dive into feeling happy and content in these thoughts, that I would, eventually, just be disappointed in not having the things and the awesome experiences I dreamed I would have at different stages in my life. But, in some of the darkest and overwhelming times in my life, I have always- without fail- gone to my "happy place".

I can remember when I was six years old and my mother was dying. Something shifty was going on. I paid attention to every detail of my Mom's changing face, her hair falling out and trying to cover it with a kerchief or a wig. But, most of everything, I remember her amazing smile and her grace and strength and full love. I had no idea she was going away from us until she was gone. Clueless then blindsided. After that, for years, it was witnessing my Dad struggle to raise 6 children on his own... working his ass off while still being there for us in any moment that we needed him. My father is nothing short of my hero. This was, no doubt, a troubling time, but it was in these years that I first learned to , by contrast, find a better place to be. My clearest memory is of hearing my Dad crying one late afternoon in his bedroom, maybe a few months after my mom passed. I just knew enough to go in and hug him, but after that I went into my own room and curled up with my dolls and thought of my mom hugging Dad and dancing with him to Benny Goodman in the kitchen and drawing roses and painting my toenails and imagining my Mom in my life at the age I am now... I can tell you that I felt calm and peaceful and in a safe world. I was a daydreamer before this- like playing in the creek by the side of our house as a four year old- but this was the first time I remember dreaming about myself with the larger picture of a future attached.

I share this bit with you because this was my initial recollection of how thinking nicer, surreal thoughts of grandeur would allow me the chance to feel better. The hope of existing more in the space of sunshine and rainbows (don't knock the rainbows) and less in a space of darkness, appealed to the six year old then and , still, the six year old inside me today. There's no real difference- except that maybe I'm allowed to drink coffee and stay up until all hours of the night if I feel like it.

That said, I encourage you to give yourself the same opportunities to stop for a little in your day to day lives and embrace the staring off out the window or into your coffee cup or at the people rushing by. These are your moments to imagine the beauty that you want to feel. And I can assure you that as long as you allow yourself that much, you will ultimately have the reality and the dreams that you once let yourself think up.

The contrast is not to be taken lightly. You have a shitty day or week or year or life, but you've also got your creative ability to make the life you want happen... if not by exact details and standards than by the feeling of appreciation in wherever you are in any given moment. We are lucky and fortunate beings to have this ability.

And look, my life is full of less the excess of things than the abundance of goodness ...like the love and friendship of my super artistically talented husband and a space to dream in so that I can conjure up thoughts of the life that led me to make a living off of selling pretty wares (like the Perfect Bliss birdcage veil in the photo above).

It's really okay to be cheesy and dream. In fact, I'm just gonna say, it's the only way. Life could really suck otherwise... or, at least, might not be as amazing.

Messing Up...

I consider myself to be a good person... got strong ethics, offer encouraging words as often as humanly possible, give to charitable donations regularly, am super conscious of the well being of those around me, do my best to stay positive ...that sort of thing. But I also consider myself to be a pretty well flawed individual.

I talk too much, tend to be judgmental, have serious moments when I gravitate toward negative thinking, get frustrated fairly easily, and am a bit of a sensitive soul. Sometimes I dwell far too long on what spewed out of my mouth in social situations. It's in these moments and, the hours and days following that I feel like I've totally screwed up and lost my street cred. Thing is, I'm not sure if others notice it half as much as I do, but it still bothers me. I have no patience for my imperfections.

Last night, at our good friends' going away party, I had several different conversations with just as many different people. Good times were rolling, all was well, no crazy mess ups. Then I was chatting with a couple of junior high teachers about , essentially, how I admired their appreciation and optimism in children of this age group. Since I've always been more easily "at one" with younger children, I said, I can't identify with the pre-teens/teens with as much grace and understanding. What followed was my rant about something like how they text too much, can't communicate well, are inconsiderate, and on and on. Thing is, I feel this way MAYBE five percent of the time. Why did I unleash this horribly uncharacteristic verbal spewing (that felt like it lasted an hour, but probably lasted only three minutes) about these kids who are perfectly fine and who are doing their best to navigate through a world that can be incredibly overwhelming? I felt embarrassed. But I also felt that if I back tracked and tried to explain myself, I would have dug myself even deeper into that very yucky place.

I wondered, today, why I did that... why I have a tendency every now and again to go on with the negative... ESPECIALLY when I don't even agree with three quarters of the shit I'm saying. In the case of the junior high teachers, I know exactly why. I think I have this weird pathology where I bring myself down to a lower level because I, illogically, feel that I can over emphasize my praising of the other person's work/behavior/talents/skills, whathaveyou and, therefore, make them feel even better about their accomplishments. Rationally, I understand that it's just a silly backwards way of complimenting someone and that putting my own self down only leaves me feeling like I've messed up again.

Now if my husband, Sebastian, was there with me, he would have made a joke about it and given me a hug and a kiss on my forehead... instant rebalancing. But because I was on my own... I struggled with that balance. I'm left wondering why messing up in such a really trivial way like this, and in other moments when I express harsh judgment and so on, makes me feel like I am the worst person in the world. And I think it comes down to the fact that facing our imperfections is a very very scary thing... especially when facing them becomes a daily occurrence. Why is it that the one single solitary negative thing I do, or negative comment I hear from another person is what stands out for a longer period of time and with such impact than that of the five gazillion really nice and positive things I do and say? Can I blame it on the 12 years of Catholic schooling and the subsequent and prolific Catholic guilt? Wish I could. Instead, I continue on the path of my rather elongated series of life lessons.

I learn to go easy on myself (another invaluable bit of love and support that my husband has taught me)... like I imagine that my screw up doesn't exist anymore and the I go make some tea, or take out some really great material and make a new piece of jewelry or write a letter to a friend or hug my dog or stand in the sun in the patio garden or tell Sebastian I love him or look at the wedding album or practice the guitar or visit with my elderly neighbor (she's so good to me) or, really , just say, "screw it."... a more effective form of denial. It doesn't matter if I messed up this one millionth time 'cause, hell, overall I've already done a pretty damn good job of myself. And I should just pipe down and enjoy these moments just a little bit more. Even though the 5% of nastiness and embarrassment packs a heck of a punch, I remind myself that it's the other 95% of the time that is actually creating my life. This is a much more satisfying thought. And, in this better moment, I'm choosing the 95%.

Gal Feature #6: Kasey

Meet Kasey. This stunning gal is noteworthy... a gifted singer and musician (for the band
The Majestic ), a smart cookie (finishing up her clinicals for her degree in Respiratory Therapies), and a dreamer. I'm especially fond of dreamers who are actually inspired to follow through with their creative innovations and make their lives an extension of their dreams... Kasey does this with awesome grace and pure loveliness. She's one to know. You just wait.
More bits and pieces below...


Did you play dress up as a kid? If so, what was your most memorable ensemble?
Oh yes, I surely played dress up as a wee one. There was no particular ensemble that stood, they all stood out. I would put on fashion shows with the neighbor kids and at the same time, be the girl climbing trees/rolling around in mud.

What's your most treasured possession?

My grandfather’s Navy “Seabees” ring. Long live Hippy!

Backyard: Garden or the ocean?

A garden is something you create, maintain and watch thrive. I pick garden.

Hobbies and artistic endeavors?

Writing, singing, making clothes, painting, collecting tiny trinkets, playing/learning numberless instruments, cooking, hiking, biking, learning about different cultures, finding cures, laughing, singing in the rain, drinking green tea and playing with my dog, Paul.

The one band that you can listen to in any mood, any time of day, any place?

Radiohead

Where do you get your inspiration?

The world around me: the good♥, the bad and the tolerable

Imagine a single room all to yourself, all for you. What's inside?

Green tea, candles, flowers, papasan, relaxing music, calligraphy pen and paper.

Cotton candy or candy apple?

Candy apple (green)

One memory that brings you to your happy place.

The memory of my mother and me saying the Serenity prayer every morning together. She always made the best of every situation, even when we had little to no money, and also instilling the greatest values, I’m extremely grateful. She is my hero.

If you had the ability to give one million dollars to one charitable organization or cause, what would it be?

The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation

Share a quote.

“I love to hear a choir. I love the humanity to see the faces of real people devoting themselves to a piece of music. I like the teamwork. It makes me feel optimistic about the human race when I see them cooperating like that.”

What piece of jewelry or hair adornment do you own by Ciara Obscura?

My Frida Kahlo inspired earrings, my fave :)

Who, in history, dead or alive, would you most like to spend a day with? why?

Florence Nightengale, for she was an intelligent, strong , compassionate, goal-driven woman that I believe I could learn a lot (more) from.

Fort or Tree House?

Tree!

Appreciation

I'm an appreciator of the little things in life. The velvety soft ears on our dog, a chat with my Dad, I think weeds are beautiful, sunlight streaming over the green in our garden, staring at the umpteen million books on our shelves, the way the gold plays off the red walls in our house, tea, my husband's eyes when he's tattooing or building this or that, picnics, listening to Head on the Door or In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, taking a cruise on my bicycle,... lots of things. So when my focus lately has been veering toward what I wanted and not what I already have, well, that just sort of set me off. I don't ever want to exist like that again.

The thing is, I want a new kitchen. And new bathrooms. And solar panels. And skylights. And better storage. And low flow toilets. And a couple new doggy beds. Oh and chairs for the dining room table... and some area rugs... and more pots in our yard for growing food... and more comfortable patio furniture... and .... Holy crap. Once I started, I couldn't stop seeing what we didn't have. Perception is a bitch.

So I cut myself off and decided to take photos of everything I love about our home. Appreciation, in and of itself, realigns a person with all that feels really amazing and always always- without exception- makes life feel good again. After I downloaded the photos and took some time just looking at them, I had no choice but to love what I already have (which, really, is everything I need.) and learn to shut the hell up about that new kitchen and the new bathrooms ... at least for now.